The Power Of Consistency (As A Parent)

The other night, while the boys were away at soccer practice, I peeked into my daughter’s room to ask her what she was up to. She responded with “Eh, nothing” and continued to scroll on her phone. At that moment, I had a choice to shut the door and dismiss her teenage indifference, but instead, I asked her whether she wanted to join me downstairs for a movie. She looked up at me for the first time and smiled with a mildly excited “yes!”

I Didn't Feel Like It, But I Said Yes Anyway.

Now, the important thing to note here is that I was in no way, shape, or form in any mood whatsoever for a movie night. The evenings are starting to get chillier in Melbourne, and all I wanted to do was snuggle up in bed with a book. But something inside of me, call it a mother’s intuition, told me she really needed a pick-me-up right then, and so I responded with an equally excited “you choose!”

I don’t know yet what that time together meant to her. There were no explosive epiphanies since our movie night. No lightning strike of enlightenment, and I was right back to being the uncool, cringy, nosy, and often mean mom. Obviously, we hope - oh, how we hope - that these small moments of connection find their way into our kids' core memories. That something sticks.

Hoping Something Sticks.

But let’s be honest. Teenage brains are like dartboards, fishing nets, or those Velcro mitts we used as kids to catch sticky balls. We throw out advice, life lessons, and love, hoping a few hit the mark. Sometimes, they do. Sometimes, they don’t.

And that’s where consistency comes in.

Not every dart will hit the bullseye.

Not every fish will be caught.

Not every Velcro ball will stick.

But our job? Is to show up and throw anyway.

Keep Showing Up.

Keep telling them to pick up their socks and clean their room - they’ll eventually detest messy spaces.

Keep reminding them how much you love them - they’ll grow up knowing how to love themselves and others.

Keep praying for them - they’ll come to value the strength that comes from faith.

Keep asking about their day - you’ll catch little nuggets of their world in return.

Keep being kind - even in bickering moments, they’re often seeking validation and love.

Keep doing what you love - they’ll learn to find their own passions.

Keep watching their favourite movies - they’ll grow up treasuring family time.

Keep making Sunday lunches and keeping traditions - they’ll build their own one day.

Keep taking those family vacations - they’ll fall in love with the world and the memories made in it.

Parenting is a long game. A slow, steady, often thankless game. But in the end, consistency wins.