Book Review: The Dangers of Codependent Parenting and Fame-Obsessed Culture

I'm going to be honest, since it's the theme of this book. I only read Jennette McCurdy's memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died, after discovering Jennifer Aniston is producing a series based on it, and I prefer to read the source material first. I also expected nothing more than a celebrity tell-all highlighting the struggles of being a child star with an overbearing mother. What I didn’t expect was a gut-wrenching, honest, often uncomfortable journey, and a completely dysfunctional mother. Wow, this poor girl never stood a chance. Even so, her story is not about hate. It’s about grief, healing, and moving on, and I'm glad I read it.

“The Nickelodeon Girl”

If you’re a Gen Z or the parent of Gen Z babies, then you’re most likely familiar with Jennette McCurdy of Sam and Cat and iCarly fame on Nickelodeon. Which is unfortunate, because she hates being remembered as a Nickelodeon kid. In her autobiography, Jennette laments how becoming an actress wasn't her dream but her mom's.

She recounts in detail her struggles as a child with a manipulative, narcissistic, mentally and physically abusive mother; and as a young woman, as a direct result of her upbringing, her battle with anorexia, binge-eating, and bulimia. She also goes into graphic detail about her unhealthy relationship with alcohol, men, and sex.

I'm glad I read Jennette’s story, because it once again brings into the spotlight the immense pressure and horrific abuse children are made to endure at the hands of the people who are meant to love and protect them most, for fame and fortune. The YouTube and TikTok pandemic we're in right now especially intensifies this kind of abuse.

Here's What I Learned Reading I'm Glad My Mom Died

1. Brutal Honesty

She writes about her childhood, her mother’s abusive behavior, her struggles with eating disorders, addiction, and identity, and how jealousy manifests in the workplace. Jennette is not holding anything back. She's going after them all, and she's aiming for the jugular.

2. Codependence

It paints a clear picture of covert emotional abuse, the kind that hides behind “love” and “sacrifice” and the confusion many survivors of narcissistic parenting feel.

3. Self-Reflection

As a mother and youth mentor myself, this book reminded me of the profound influence we have on the emotional and mental well-being of our children. It made me pause periodically and ask: Am I nurturing their individuality or projecting my own needs?

4. The Nuances of Eating Disorders

She explains how her relationship with food was shaped by her mother’s obsession with control, appearance, and public perception. Jennette wanted nothing else in this world but to please her mom, and her mom took full advantage of that vulnerability.

5. The Dark Side of Child Stardom

She gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the toxic pressure young actors face on-screen, on-set, and in their own homes.

6. A Cautionary Tale for the Age of Social Media

These days, this kind of child exploitation at the hands of parents is playing out in even more dangerous ways through family vlog channels and “kidfluencers.” This book once again shines the spotlight squarely on this hidden monster.

7. Surprisingly Funny

Despite the heavy themes, Jennette’s dark humor and sarcasm make this a surprisingly pleasant read. One moment I was really angry, and the next I was laughing.

8. Deeply Validating

Contrary to what the title may suggest, this book isn’t about hatred. It’s about grief, healing, and moving on. Jennette shows us that you’re allowed to grieve what you never had and to walk away from people who harm you, even if they’re your own family.

9. A Reminder that Fame Does Not Equate To “Success”

Her story is a reminder that fame and fortune do not guarantee your success, peace, and authenticity.

10. Healing is Messy and That's Okay

Jennette is still in the healing process. She doesn't have it all figured out, and that makes the book even more powerful. Healing is messy, nonlinear, and brave.